Writing about my life has been a part of me ever since I learned to write words.

Little Stacie wrote in kitty decorated diaries and journals, documenting her feelings, her crushes, and the MAJOR DRAMAS of her childhood (like how my mom wouldn’t let me email the boy I liked over the summer holiday).

Most entries are about the boys I liked and the girls I didn’t.

Sometimes, when I look back at my writing, I can’t help but notice how positively I was making everything seem. I rarely shared my frustrations or true feelings. I only wrote what I thought I was supposed to be writing. Every now and then, I’ll find a journal entry with my real thoughts and those are typically my favorite to read and recall.

While time has continued to progress, I’ve noticed I did the same thing on Facebook (I’ve been on Facebook since 2005, my sophomore year of High School). So I thought it would be fun to grab a few pictures from my facebook and share what I was really thinking behind my silly faces and crazy outfits.

What was Stacie really going through? What was she really obsessing over?

I thought we’d start with my Fifth Grade visit to The Happiest Place on Earth, Disney World:

1. Isn’t this Stacie the cutest? This is such a genuinely happy smile on my face. And aren’t Mickey and Minnie holding hands in the background so cute? I haven’t been to Disney World since this trip and would love to go some day! After watching Imagineering on Disney+, I’ve learned that many of the rides we went on are no longer there, and that Disney World has changed A LOT since I was there last. Did you watch Imagineering? It’s so inspiring!

2. This shimmery plastic green jacket I was wearing was everything to me. It was a hand-me-down from a girl from church and I thought it was the coolest piece of clothing EVER. It made me feel like a Spice Girl (even though I wasn’t allowed to listen to them or see Spice World).

3. My Dad had just had a triple bypass that year, a procedure he was very young for. I was young and didn’t know how seriously to think about heart failure or the risks of a bypass. The thought of the surgery not going well never really crossed my mind. I remember my mom’s fear of him riding Disney’s roller coasters with me. Sometimes I wonder if this Disney trip was a celebration of life and surgery gone well— a guilty pleasure trip for him because he loves Disney World so much.

4. I’m really glad these pictures were taken on a disposable camera, because I was very self-conscious of my looks in fifth grade. I think I would have been SO avoidant of the camera if we’d had iphones and the ability to review and post pictures of ourselves back then. I was one of the first in my class to get raging red bumpy acne, and I was SO aware of it. Boys pointed it out like it was a disease. Girls felt sorry for me. Lizzie McGuire was my idol and she didn’t have acne, and wore the coolest clothes. All I wanted to do was be and feel like her in these pictures.

5. Lastly, you need to know how obsessed I was with Aaron Carter. I had read on the internet that Aaron Carter was from Florida. I was desperately hoping I would run into him while I was there. I day dreamed about him in the car. I looked for him at every hotel or restaurant we stayed at. I knew—- I JUST KNEW— if I met him, we would have a cute meet and he would follow me back to Texas.

And just in case you wanted to see the most hilarious worst possible picture ever taken of me, my Dad got this one of my mom and I sitting on a bench in Animal Kingdom. I just don’t think I was ready for the this picture to be taken. Yikes, right?! Special shoutout to mom’s glasses AND her sun glasses.