This date night ended with me in tears and with Brett happy he got to eat some Shake Shack. We’ve had about eleven years to work through disappointing date nights, but apparently they are still possible.

A successful date night for us is typically spent without lugging around a fancy camera, without expectations, and without much of a plan. We don’t even need to be dressed up to enjoy time with one another. The one thing our date nights pretty much always involve is dessert and coffee. This is the only expectation we have.

But of course, this was the one date night I took time to plan (like two weeks in advance, so there was a lot of time to build up excitement), so it felt ridiculously disappointing when it all suddenly seemed to fail every expectation I’d had. Especially the dessert part.

And I have a hunch what some of you parents of young kids are thinking— Stacie, you’re lucky you got to even have a date night. Yes, thank you for acknowledging that we are on two different life paths. Now that I’m in my thirties, I hear your “we don’t have any time to ourselves” woes and read them in your facebook statuses. I see you. I’m hoping you can carve out financial space and time space for a date night this month. I hope it brings life to your soul. I hope you get to eat that dessert, you deserve it.

And if you’re reading this and you’re single I wonder if your’e thinking— Stacie, you’re lucky you got to have someone to go on a date night with. Yes, thank you for acknowledging we are on two different life paths. Keep swiping right, you gorgeous human, I’m rooting for you! Or keep doing your single thing and eating all that dessert for yourself! My feelings and disappointment are still valid (albeit a tad ridiculous) and so are yours, so I’ll continue.

I was in a bad mood because we didn’t make reservations at the restaurant I’d been looking forward to getting dessert and coffee at FOR WEEKS (even though I’d thought to myself earlier in the week— "Stacie, you should make reservations just in case”— and then I proceeded to not take my own advice. Like, why do I even have an inner voice if I don’t listen to her when she actually says smart stuff?). We also tried to attend a really cool looking Fort Worth event earlier in the evening that was very disappointing (like, in a false advertising kind of way) and hot. So, almost every plan we made, fell through.

The only part of our planned date night that worked out, were portraits in the Stockyards’ Cactus Garden and Brett getting to take a look around Hotel Drover (which is really beautiful and totally worth checking out). And if you know anything about Brett, taking photos on our date night is a sacrifice and act of love and service, not something he necessarily looks forward to. So, really, the only good part of the date for him was Shake Shack.

On our way back from taking photos, I got blisters and had to take off my really cute shoes before the night ended. Which resulted in me berating myself for even owning cute pointless shoes.

Heel Wearers, Please tell me you’ve taken the time to berate yourself over your shoe choice at a moment you’re already feeling low? Like, “Stacie, if you can only take a few steps in these, why are you trying to walk date night marathons in them?!”

If you’ve ever had a disappointing night, having a fashion malfunction or fashion “injury” sort of feels like the cherry on top of a dessert that tastes like mud.

Am I happy about how big my disappointment was and that I cried publicly and openly in Hotel Drover’s fancy lobby because the night didn’t pan out the way I wanted it to? Um, no I’m not happy. Was it an honest cry? Yes. Was Brett a totally patient husband who held my hand through it all? Yes. Will I make reservations next time and keep my expectations low? You know it.

So, shitty date nights…. are another good reminder that for an idealist like myself, it’s important to keep expectations low in literally everything I do. I’m pretty sure idealists need a few reminders throughout the year to keep expectations low. This one counts for me. In fact, I’m happy to take this one for the team if it means saving someone else from date night disappointment. It’s also important for me to remember that date nights are about spending time with Brett and caring for him.

All that to say, I love how these pictures turned out from this very weirdly emotional disappointing night that Brett repeatedly acknowledged enjoying on the tearful car ride home.